I think I touched upon this subject when I wrote the short story titled Wake Up. I used to be fearless…well in my mind I was anyways. Or reckless. Without regard for my own safety I guess you could say when I was younger. Ever since I got married and had children something clicked in my brain. I don’t think it necessarily made me weaker but it made me more aware, made me a better person, more protective.
But at times I feel like this feeds into my biggest fears though, not being able to control what happens, especially to loved ones. Have you ever had a situation where you weren’t in control? Where no matter what you did, thought, wanted, you couldn’t change what was happening at that particular moment?
A subset of this leads into not being able to protect those I love. It’s a scary thought. No matter all the scenarios I run through in my head and all the ways I could prevent or solve them, it’s still frightening to think that most of it is out of my control. BUT I keep positive thoughts running through my head, use common sense in order to lessen the chances that anything bad will happen. I also have plans in case a number of different situations might arise as well, better safe than sorry. I mean, if I walk into a situation where I immediately get a gut feeling that I shouldn’t be there, guess what, I’m out.