The tides come and go. The waves crash at the shoreline with an intensity…and then they leave as quickly as they arrived. An endless cycle of push and pull. An endless cycle of love and hate.

Love comes and goes just as the saying goes – nothing lasts forever, this is true of all things. There will be things, people, events in our lives that will leave their imprint but will fade in the present only to be remembered through bittersweet memories. Most of the time it isn’t what one or both of the people involved want but situations and life don’t discriminate, things happen. Things fall apart. People get hurt. People love and they journey through life and some are lucky to hold on to love for longer periods of time. Others lose sooner. I want to say hold on to hope, hold on to anything, but it gets hard to sometimes. Some people can’t hide what they feel, others seem indifferent but are going through such internal turmoil that their thoughts are never silenced. They live in their own personal hell that the world will never see, will never know of.

A smile can hide a million tears, a million sorrows.

I get tired of waiting for the better days when it seems I’ve been on this ride headed to rock bottom for a while. Where is my happiness? Where is my love? Lost. Long forgotten. Misplaced in people that never deserved it, withheld from those that did. Self-destructive in my own way, I know no other way I guess. It gets to the point where I try to find something, someone, somewhere that will make me feel again. The days seem longer, hidden away until the sun sets and I can be in darkness. Sometimes my mind feels like a numb blur where it functions enough to get me through the day.

I think I’m done venting for now.


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